Diving Deeper into Fear

Last week we talked about fear … but there was SO MUCH MORE that I wanted to get into. Specifically, with the fear of change, we needed to go deeper!

I learned about the concept of the cycle of change during my training from Transformation Academy. Well, while writing the blog last week, I was also listening to the audio version of the book that they wrote, The Complete Guide to Total Transformation, and within it they referenced the cycle of change and breaking the cycle of change. 

Today’s all about diving deeper into the fear of change by looking at the cycle of change and breaking the cycle of change ...

Cycle of Change

Change is a process and the cycle of change involves a six step process. 

Going through the cycle of change is much like dealing with any other cycle or process in life ... you might sit in a step for a while, you might pass or skip a step, you might have to go back to some steps, and you might find some steps easy to do. 

If you really want to change, you have to be aware of what is involved in the cycle of change so you can identify where you are in the journey, know what's coming next, and know how to avoid the pitfalls of being stuck in that area.

Discontentment 

Discontentment is a disappointment, dissatisfaction, or unhappiness.

You're over it. You're tired. 

You don't like what your life looks like. 

You're unsettled. You're not happy. You're not content.

You don't like where you are in life. And, because you don't like where you are, then you see that you also don’t like where your life is going if something about this path isn’t changed. 

Breaking Point

You’ve been discontent, unhappy, and unsettled for so long, and not feeling the joy in your life.

After being so unfulfilled and unsatisfied for so long, after living with discontentment, something has to give! 

Maybe, just maybe, you reach a breaking point … The point at which you're so fed up and so frustrated that something has got to give!

When you reach a breaking point  … you have to decide are you going to change?

Deciding 

So, you’ve reached that breaking point where you’re so fed up in your discontentment with how life looks and how life is going. You know that something has got to give! 

You’re ready, you decided the time is now! You're ready to change!

Yes, let’s change … 

Fear

Well, you decided that you were ready to change because you were over it, done, and ready for something new … but, then fear showed up.

Remember, we talked about how fear is nothing more false evidence appearing real! You can't let this fear keep you from pressing forward - take that fear and look decide that you will face everything and rise!

Don't stop! Don’t sit in that fear ... remember fear isn't real! Don’t allow yourself to start doubting yourself … don’t allow that fear to keep you from changing.

Fear is an imagination of your mind - it’s false evidence appearing real - it’s just a mirage!

Face the fear and rise … 

Amnesia 

Wait, what was the reason that you want to change in the first place?!? You’re so used to this life … you’re so used to these feelings … so, what was it that you wanted to change anyways?!? 

Amnesia. 

You forgot. You forgot what you wanted to change. You forgot why you wanted to change. You forgot the purpose behind the change. You forgot the reason you didn’t like the way you felt that led to the decision to change. 

That amnesia is a block. It’s a limiting belief. It’s something that's trying to keep you stuck in this cycle of change, preventing you from change, preventing you from moving forward, and not letting you change!

Instead, don’t let yourself forget! Allow yourself to think and remember how discontent you were, remember what drove you to your breaking point, remember the decision to change, and how you didn’t let fear keep you from changing … don’t forget!

Backtracking 

You managed to break through and work through all the steps in the cycle of change … you dealt with the discontentment, you've got so fed up you reached your breaking point, you decided to change, you dealt with and conquered the fear, you even almost forgot why you want to change … 

But, now after coming through all that, you start to second guess yourself again. You’re starting to backtrack ...  don't do it, don't backtrack!

Backtracking is going back to those other steps that you previously visited and you previously conquered - like I told you at the beginning you might revisit some steps, that’s where backtracking comes in. 

Backtracking is that limiting belief, that fear, that is keeping you from moving forward to fully breaking the cycle of change. You have to deal with each of the steps in this cycle … backtracking is revisiting those steps that you haven’t fully worked through. 

You have to find something that's going to continue to push you and propel you forward - something that won’t allow you to stay stuck in the cycle.

Backtracking is the last step in the cycle of change because once you stop back tracking your out of the cycle of change!

Breaking the Cycle of Change

You’ve gone through the six steps in the cycle of change … you revisited some … you set in some … you excel past some … and some were more difficult to get through.

Once you get out of the cycle of change … you have to break it! 

You’re ready to break the cycle of change - great! Breaking the cycle of change comes down to two things or two ways … it’s not as detailed and involved as changing, but that doesn’t mean it is any less important. Really, how you break the cycle of change says a lot … 

Extreme Pain 

Something happens in your life that makes change a non-negotiable because you literally have no choice but to change! 

Allowing extreme pain to be the catalyst for change is allowing some outside force making the decision to change a non-negotiable for you - whether that be death, a health scare, a job loss, a financial loss, or some other circumstances that gives you such a wake up call by putting you in a position that you never want to be in again. 

You can let that be your reason for change … or you can go with the second option for breaking the cycle of change … 

Self Honesty 

You decided to break the  cycle of change on your own! 

You got real and honest with yourself ... you set with yourself … you talked to yourself … and you decided to believe in yourself! 

You decided that you are breaking the cycle of change and you didn't allow something else or someone else to make the decision for you!

THIS is the best way to break the cycle of change because then it truly is your choice to get out of the cycle and make the change.

When you take the time to get honest with yourself, that's when you're truly walking in your purpose, living in your why ... you're so motivated that no matter what happens the drive and the discipline will allow you to get out of the cycle of change and change and that will keep you motivated.

You’re Ready to Dive EVEN Deeper!

If I have a choice in how I'm breaking the cycle of change, it’s always going to be self honesty, always going to be my own choice and of my own volition. I’m always going to try to do what I need to do to make my life better. I don't have time for anybody else to dictate how I am going to live my life and will look to self honesty over extreme pain a million times when it comes to breaking the cycle of change!

You don't want extreme pain to be the reason you have to break the cycle of pain. 

You read this … but you know that you’re still stuck in the cycle of change that you can’t even break through to decide how you want to break the cycle of change … 

You want to get honest with yourself but you don't even know how to sit with yourself and really honest with yourself without talking yourself out of things, without rationalizing your behavior, without letting limiting beliefs take over … 

If ANY of those sound like you, please reach out, let’s talk!

I can help you to walk through that cycle of change and be there as you go through the steps.

I can help you to break the cycle of change using self honesty instead letting extreme pain be the catalyst for change.

I can help you to overcome those limiting beliefs and self imposed limitations. 

But first, you have to reach out ... let’s do this: change your perspective, change your mindset, change your life!

Comment below: Which of the steps in the cycle of change do you find to be the hardest?

-Alesha

The “Lee” behind Legal.Lee